Another glorious battle between the forces of evil and the forces of kinda not evil, but not really all that good either. We have what I experienced for the first time, as did everyone else, a four player game. The rules: Free for all deathmatch. The contenders:

Bjorn: Vikings
Andrew: Astronauts
Johno: The Dolphins
Peter (me): Rebel Alliance

Extra players means an extra big battlefield. I had to go out and buy a few more base plates for this one. The grey half of the field is 96 x 96 studs (2 x 2 grey plates) and the other half is 96 x 128 studs (3 x 4 green plates).Johno is fresh blood, learning on the fly. He is seen in this photo reading the rules as Andrew and Bjorn rush for all the good weapons.
Rule changes: I can’t remember…I think it was 2 cp for a frag and 5 cp for a cap. Something along those lines. Team specials are now 21 cp or four cap’s.


Let the boringness begin! I mean, it’s not boring, it’s just there’s no killing straight away…Each team has a carefully selected starting area which has been balanced between all six capture points. Also, we have lots of lollies, soft drink, energy drinks and a 4 pack of a combination of all those things…with added vodka…
Right, Johno’s weak ass Dolphins start at the laboratory which grants extra skill to those units who fire from the inside of it.


I start near lava mountain whose walls are impenetrable except by guns, shells, lightsabers, falling space stations…pretty much anything that explodes or causes damage.


The Astronauts are commanded by none other than this strong, highly trained veteran of brik warfare.


Bjorn’s Vikings start near the tower of Burloch.


The Astronauts bolt for prime sniping positions as their hero, Betty: Space Commando, uses her jetpack ability to cap the treehouse early on.


Luke Skywalker is just hangin’ out wit’ his rebels yo.


Dolphin team member, number 10 caps the lab for Johno, giving him money and street cred.


On top of that, two other’s cap the snow cave and Andrew’s Rocket-dude takes up position on his treehouse bridge.


The Vikings split up…


FIRST BLOOD…finally, freak that took a whole round. This honour is taken by my awesome Rebel who was soon given a medal for his brave efforts.


The ‘Nauts move on to The Tower of Burloch. This turn also see’s the spawned skeleton horse, who is loved by all for his witty jokes and clever banter. He can be seen travelling around the tower where he will no doubt trample someone to death.


The tower’s relentless and unforgiving climb to success proves to be just simple rocket jump away for Betty. Here, she is seen wielding a Sub-Hyper-Force-Long-Range-Super-Stick, which is a melee weapon…unless she accidently hits the fire button.


The Vikings now own hump hill, appropriately.


Andrew brought around his box set of the Simpsons (one of the good seasons) and we had it playing in the distance the entire game. It’s great background noise.


Someone shot a Dolphin head onto the gun of a Dolphin player.


Bjorn’s Vikings tried to mug an Astronaut, but they shot first before threatening. Oh those crazy Vikings!

Betty: Space Commando dies after being sniped in the head. Her jetpack is still turned on however, keeping the remains of her bleeding body levitated.

The Republic decides to spawn a scout ship to get in on the action.


The heavily armed Vikings storm past the Astronaut offensive with the use of guns and Icelandic profanity. Vikings are from Iceland right?


Sigh…I rolled a one for skill with a 1d10…despite my chosen team being especially proficient with RPG’s…


NOT PROFICIENT ENOUGH, as the shell bounces calmly off the head of my rocket trooper and onto the ground, exploding him team fortress style.


Luke Skywalker stands atop lava mountain and laughs at his fallen comrade.


Alright, so Bjorn and I found this drink called ‘Pulse’ which is a mixture of alcohol, softdrink and gurana. “Awesome” we said…”We like all of those things”. Turns out it was a horrible drink and no one liked it. But, we had one left that we didn’t want to throw away. Bjorn (seen here with the batman mask) takes it upon himself (with a bit of egging on) to skull the remaining drink.


It really does taste that awful…


It is done! Great work Bjorn! Now on with the gamage…


Johno goes on a bit of a spending spree upgrading both his Ice Cave with a shield generator and his Laboratory with a Flak Cannon. Jerk!


On the other side of the map we have a desperate attempt by Bjorn to get someone to buy the Exploding Research Lab before Andrew does…for you see, it’s powerful enough to penetrate his Viking’s hugging (extra armour when hugging). The bargaining begins.


Andrew learnt his lesson from this, which is not to brag about your plan BEFORE it’s your turn.

Finally, an agreement was made… and that agreement was for Andrew to kill me instead. What? Jerks.

Andrew’s Astronaut-owned Exploding Research Vehicle now flies off a ramp made by Viking shields which is on a path to hit my Scout ship mid flight.


It was a great plan, and it would have worked if it wasn’t for those meddling physics! Andrew’s pilot crashes and burns in typical Brikwars fashion, creating debris that can now be used for cover and half the CP scattered about among the burning wreckage waiting to be scavenged by some bum.


Ahh death…


Whoa! There’s a stingray in the river!!


The Vikings go all high-tech and commandeer the late Betty: Space Commando’s jet pack.


This gave Bjorn the height advantage he needed to aim for the Scout ship, successfully taking it out with two blasters (fluke).


The scout pilot’s ragdoll smashes into The Tower of Burloch and spears part of his COCKpit into the pylon.


Starburst Jelly Babies. +1 against hunger, 1d10 for sugar, +2 for lame stat joke.


The Dolphins strive to level astronaut dominance over the Treehouse. They accomplish this in part by relieving a solider of his head which was quite heavy.


Johno gets what’s coming to him.


Luke is killed shortly thereafter.

As you can see The Dolphins defensive prowess is hard to match. Also, an Astronaut is somehow being held in mid air by his own blood…not too sure how that happened.


All of the Dolphins start heading for the Ice Cave to as to protect their weak, easily shot bodies.


Andrew takes advantage of the Treehouse’s bonus animals.


I get fed up with Johno’s impenetrable defences so I storm the shield with a chainsaw wielding spider and mind controlling robot.


Decay Face the Goalie is mine!


Briefly on the other side of the map…


My mind control spider is shot and the Dolphin’s regain their precious hero.


Johno feels a little payback is order. He issues said paypack by stealing the Stalker and rolling 17 in damage.


This insanely powerful attack sprays blood everywhere…


…and catapults my Rebel Trooper while on fire…


…onto the other side of the map where he is greeted by Vikings having a love-in.


The flaming corpse hits the Viking ‘hug-group’ hard, setting them all on fire.


Jonathan builds more structures on an already over-crowed ice cave, this time decking it out with a medic bay. First unit he re-spawns is my fallen hero, Luke Skywalker. That hussy!


Andrew’s astronaut lost his legs somehow and is now using a friendly stingray for transportation.


Decay Face mocks the Rebel Alliance further by donning the helmet of the trooper he so viciously killed. I cannot take this unjust humiliation any more. I send in one of my few remaining sharp shooters to assassinate the Dolphin hero.


Turns out my sharpshooter is an idiot and flings himself backwards into the lava.


Decay Face bails out of the Stalker when he sees Andrew’s dismembered astronaut on a stingray coming straight for him.


Bjorn’s jetpack Viking, who can already move around the battlefield very easily, spawns a Jedi Starfighter to further mock Andrew’s immobile Half-Astronaut.


Andrew can be seen in the background here quite elated as he is currently controlling all the stingrays on the battlefield.


What now?


Not too far away, we can see a wrecked spider droid and my newly purchased Hailfire. This was my final unit, and my last ditch attempt to stay in the game. Johno, seen here winning, is the only player with more than one unit left.


Okay, so, back to the Starfighter. Apparently piloting the ship was way too simple for Bjorn…


Instead, his last remaining unit jetpacks onto the hull and nose dives the ship…not into Johno’s base of death (to which I assumed was his intention from the outset)…but into Andrew’s half-Astronaut which was lying in the river of lava but was still clinging to life. He was the only Astronaut alive on the battlefield and posed no threat to Bjorn what-so-ever.


The sting ray was the only survivor.


My Hailfire droid self destructs alongside the starfighter simply to add to the carnage and destruction.


So, in the end, the Dolphin’s powerful defences paid off as seen by this pile of corpses.


Done. Over. 3 hours and 12 minutes later, Johno and his team of rag tag soccer misfits emerge victorious.

Winner: The Dolphins


The game ended with the Vikings crashing a ship into the Astronauts, and the Rebel Alliance exploding their last vehicle just because everyone else was doing it.



For all your groovy strategy dudes, here’s a recap of the moves made by our fearless commanders:


Once again, the person who learnt how to play on the night has won the game. Looks like the Dolphins aren’t as weak as we once though. Nar, they’re still pretty weak.